The Handmaid's Tale 150-195

It appears the the Commander and her are getting very close. By the second time meeting she's very outspoken then eventually asks for hand lotion. It seems insane that magizines are rare and her reaction is like seeing an extinct animal. Theres a part on 153 that she basically thinks anythign to do or resembles women is a susprise it's still around. She's talking about a plants looks, "So female in shape it was a surprise they'd not long since been rooted out." We also find out what had happened to the woman before her. She had hung herself after writing that Latin phrase. We now can gather that he had been this generous with the other handmaids, because how else could she have known that phrase. The Commander wants the women to atleast be able to stand their lives and not feel completely miserable, which is a very generous act, but he also is looking for someone to confide in. The end of chapter 30 is very interesting. She's praying to God, but in a les formal fashion. She talks to God as You instead. I think she has a feeling of being more free than she has in the past. It's like she's talking to a friend instead of praying and hoping she'll get an answer. This is not looking good for her, I really hope that she does not choose to kill herself in the end.